Closer, closer

Have I changed? Have I learned? I don't want to fall back into old, easy patterns. It's a slippery thing. But I've seen, I've felt, the dis-ease of us all, and it cannot prosper, it cannot sustain. There is only one truth, whether I accept it or not. I believe it's about time I accept it.

A Fever Of Old Friends

I fell into whispers

Soft verbal blisters

Do you feel nothing

when the touch is poisoned and hot?


A fever of old friends

Became my bookends

On many a moon glare

I lost them one by one


So I am barren and confused

I fell victim to the faithful and misused

I can't conjoin all I once knew



I fell and I forget

The sound of their whispers

Do you feel nothing

when you're choking on purest thought?

Archive 34B

I kissed her in the cabin near the lake. She feigned sleep. I stopped. Half of me felt foolish and wanted to leave, the other half a dumb, mangy, hound sticking around the table long after the meal had been finished. I stayed. She was sweet with me when she told me the reasons it wouldn't work. I left. I listened to Elliot Smith down dark highways sadly, but I knew she was right. It wouldn't work.

It can be

Maybe, maybe, maybe....

Come on, come out, say yes....

To the idea, to me, to it, come on....

Show me, let me in, favor me, make it

a thing sprung from the belly of all happy lives

Sanctified, ordained

Do I give up on you? Do I quit?

Yes?

Patience, we will see.

Or not, but...

Let this be different than... just let this be different

It can be

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

And Now I Embark

I am alive to this

New way

I am allowing for bliss

the one thing I missed

when my aim was weak and gray

A thought arose as I ran city roads

That I had it backwards, that I had it wrong

That I was the shaped

But I was the shaper all along.

I showed her

Leaving the court house, I held the door open for a man behind me. He was tall, bulky, and looked mean. He thanked me and said:

"Good News!"

I said "Really?" and he said:

"I just found out my wife has to pay for half of the bullet I'm going to put in my head. I showed her, that fucking cunt!"

See, it pays to open doors for people.

Stuck In Your Ghost

I sat quiet, stuck in your ghost

Fading, feeling insubstantial

Back some days I loved you the most

You were a life I couldn't handle

You would understand

*

And I heard they offered you up

To the granite belly of the sea

And anyway, you'd had enough

You had better places to be

I would understand

*

You know we have the same sized soul

Oh, it's hard to let go

But a rusty dream doesn't mean

Our doors are closed